A New "30 Things" List

I ran across this article by Glamour Magazine from 1997, titled "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30." Shocked and a little offended by the shallowness and the outright wrongness of it, my friends and I decided to write our own list.

Without further ado, we present to you:
30 Things Every Woman Should Have, Know, and Do by the Time She's 30

DO:
1. Travel outside the country at least once (yes, those missions trips to Mexico count).
2. Go to a movie (restaurant/day trip/museum) alone.
3. Break down on the side of the road.
4. Wear a bridesmaid dress.
5. Help a friend through a break-up.
6. Read a Jane Austen novel cover-to-cover (movie versions don't count).
7. Paint an entire room.
8. Throw comfort zones to the wind and do something despite your fear.
9. Make the most of your twenties.
10. Nerd-out about something, without caring what other people think.

HAVE:
11. A basic tool set.
12. At least one outfit purchased at full price.
13. A laptop, a phone, and one other piece of technology you can't live without.
14. A full bookcase - or at least a shelf.
15. At least one guy (not-boyfriend) friend.
16. A friend who doesn't put up with your crap.
17. A pretty good idea of how to iron and mend clothing, if only in emergencies.
18. The self-control to stick to a diet every once in a while.
19. The self-esteem to know that diet-breaking isn't the end of the world.
20. Basic customer service skills, including the ability to say "I'm sorry."

KNOW:
21. How to unclog a toilet/sink.
22. What size jeans you wear (I mean, come on).
23. How to change a dirty diaper.
24. How to listen.
25. How to shop for baby showers.
26. How to be childlike without being childish.
27. The difference between "your" and "you're."
28. That you can't control your family's decisions, and that's okay.
29. How to articulate what you believe, for the most part.
30. How to laugh at yourself.

Many thanks to Joanna Schmitt and Amanda Bangor for helping with this list.

Further Thoughts on Singleness

I thought I'd said all I had to say on the subject of singleness, with my last post. But some comments prompted me to do further thinking (let's hear it for the commenters!).

My ponderings led me to three things:

1. Much emphasis (especially in the church) is placed on the value of marriage, thus implying that singleness is less valuable. MY THOUGHT: This implication is neither intentional nor true. Please ignore it. 
2. The predominant message to singles is that we need to be fixed somehow: we need to figure out why we're single and what we can do to change that; to straighten out our attitudes because we're sad/frustrated/impatient/lonely; to work on ourselves so that we'll be prime marriage material. I can't count the number of time a well-meaning friend has said with determination and decisiveness, "We need to find you a man. Let's see who you can date..." MY THOUGHT: Singleness doesn't make you broken; sin makes you broken. We all need attitude adjustments, we all could learn a little more contentment and thankfulness, and we all should continuously improve ourselves, regardless of relationship status.
3. One idea that pervades Christian circles is that once you are content being single, your spouse will come. MY THOUGHT: Your contentment is not God's cue to bring along Mr/Ms Right. I've gone back and forth between contentment and impatience more times than I can count - and that was just yesterday. ;-) Be content for its own sake - not as a means to an end.

But one commenter wanted to know: HOW do you become content, face the loneliness, and deal with the challenges of singlehood? Believe me, this is something I'm learning more about every day. (But of course that doesn't stop me from having bullet-pointed suggestions.)

• On a macro level, it helps to dwell on the good parts of whatever situation you're in. But don't ignore the bad parts. Are you sad/mad/lonely/frustrated that you don't have someone to rub your feet tonight? Acknowledge that and then put your feet up and eat some chocolate and start being thankful that no one cares about the smudge on your lip or the socks you just threw on the floor. Last night, I wanted a snuggle buddy, but I got off the mopey couch and made myself some pancakes in the microwave and thanked the heavens that I didn't have to cook for two. 
• On a micro level, I once had a lonely friend ask, "How can you stand traveling all by yourself? Is it even worth it if you're not with someone you love?" Since the answers are applicable to more than just travel, I thought I'd share:
• Do things anyway.
• Take pictures and share them with your Facebook peeps - that way your adventures are not completely solo.
• Text people along your trip (life/adventure/day/whatever) - you'll feel like someone is paying attention to your life, even if they can't be there to share your adventure.
• Take the opportunity to do things you would never do if you had someone with you: 
• pull over at a random spot on the road to take pics.
• stop at a random frozen yogurt joint and get the biggest ice cream cone ever because you can.
• take a random side street and see if it gets you where you're going.
• talk to random strangers because no one cares.
• get lost and don't worry about someone nagging you about directions.
• eat dinner at 3 pm because you feel like it.
• Remember, you are not defined by your singleness. It's not even a problem - it's just a fact, just like your hair color or your address or your birthday. It's one thing in the millions of things you get to process and experience in life. 

All my thoughts keep concluding with something like this: Life is great. Life sucks. So what? Live it and process the heck out of it, because "The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates