Further Thoughts on Singleness

I thought I'd said all I had to say on the subject of singleness, with my last post. But some comments prompted me to do further thinking (let's hear it for the commenters!).

My ponderings led me to three things:

1. Much emphasis (especially in the church) is placed on the value of marriage, thus implying that singleness is less valuable. MY THOUGHT: This implication is neither intentional nor true. Please ignore it. 
2. The predominant message to singles is that we need to be fixed somehow: we need to figure out why we're single and what we can do to change that; to straighten out our attitudes because we're sad/frustrated/impatient/lonely; to work on ourselves so that we'll be prime marriage material. I can't count the number of time a well-meaning friend has said with determination and decisiveness, "We need to find you a man. Let's see who you can date..." MY THOUGHT: Singleness doesn't make you broken; sin makes you broken. We all need attitude adjustments, we all could learn a little more contentment and thankfulness, and we all should continuously improve ourselves, regardless of relationship status.
3. One idea that pervades Christian circles is that once you are content being single, your spouse will come. MY THOUGHT: Your contentment is not God's cue to bring along Mr/Ms Right. I've gone back and forth between contentment and impatience more times than I can count - and that was just yesterday. ;-) Be content for its own sake - not as a means to an end.

But one commenter wanted to know: HOW do you become content, face the loneliness, and deal with the challenges of singlehood? Believe me, this is something I'm learning more about every day. (But of course that doesn't stop me from having bullet-pointed suggestions.)

• On a macro level, it helps to dwell on the good parts of whatever situation you're in. But don't ignore the bad parts. Are you sad/mad/lonely/frustrated that you don't have someone to rub your feet tonight? Acknowledge that and then put your feet up and eat some chocolate and start being thankful that no one cares about the smudge on your lip or the socks you just threw on the floor. Last night, I wanted a snuggle buddy, but I got off the mopey couch and made myself some pancakes in the microwave and thanked the heavens that I didn't have to cook for two. 
• On a micro level, I once had a lonely friend ask, "How can you stand traveling all by yourself? Is it even worth it if you're not with someone you love?" Since the answers are applicable to more than just travel, I thought I'd share:
• Do things anyway.
• Take pictures and share them with your Facebook peeps - that way your adventures are not completely solo.
• Text people along your trip (life/adventure/day/whatever) - you'll feel like someone is paying attention to your life, even if they can't be there to share your adventure.
• Take the opportunity to do things you would never do if you had someone with you: 
• pull over at a random spot on the road to take pics.
• stop at a random frozen yogurt joint and get the biggest ice cream cone ever because you can.
• take a random side street and see if it gets you where you're going.
• talk to random strangers because no one cares.
• get lost and don't worry about someone nagging you about directions.
• eat dinner at 3 pm because you feel like it.
• Remember, you are not defined by your singleness. It's not even a problem - it's just a fact, just like your hair color or your address or your birthday. It's one thing in the millions of things you get to process and experience in life. 

All my thoughts keep concluding with something like this: Life is great. Life sucks. So what? Live it and process the heck out of it, because "The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates